Wednesday, May 31, 2006

First Class = Free Booze

Last weekend I went to visit some friends in Salt Lake City, Utah. Let's go ahead and get it out there...the Morman culture there is a little creepy. It's like visiting a town that have all decided to drink the Koolaid. Anyway, on the flight back the plane was delayed for over an hour, of course. I made friends with the unlikely matched couple across from me and we shared some small talk and sarcastic comments while we waited. While we chatted, the woman behind me kept leaning back and chiming in on our conversation. Ok, first of all, it's not like I was best friends with the couple, but we were mid-conversation and this random woman would start laughing at my jokes over my shoulder or randomly point out that she, too, lived in Dallas. Thank you ma'am for sharing that...

I eventually got really annoyed by the interrupter (who, by the way, mentioned to her friend that her ride was going to bring her dogs so she could see and kiss them immediatley upon arrival) and decided to get up and walk over to the desk. I smiled my most charming smile and started talking to the agent. I walked away about 5 minutes later with a first class ticket in my hand. I walked the ticket back over to my seat and continued playing Super Mario Brothers on my Nintendo DS and eating animal crackers. The unlikely couple made fun of me, then we laughed for a while about how none of us remembered koala bears being in the animal cracker boxes when we were young. So, here I sit...in the Salt Lake City Airport, playing Nintendo, eating animal crackers, talking to strangers, and dreaming of my upcoming first class travel back to Dallas.

Boarding the plane is one of the best parts of traveling first class. I was immediatley a part of something much greater in life when the lady called for first class passengers. I rose to the call with my shoulders back and animal cracker zoo train box in hand...I was of the elite! We boarded the plane and it turned out that out of about 16 first class seats, about 5 were filled. I was the only woman and for sure the only one under the age of 45. I loved sitting down with my torn jeans, Nintendo and ipod among all of the "business men" in suits...suckers. I began to spread out my belongings immediately because I had the whole row to myself. I set up a little area of all of my things like I was at camp for a week, trying to feel at home. As soon as the wheels left the ground, our personal flight attendant came around and asked what we would like to drink. I ordered a beer, expecting to pay my 5 bucks...she brought the beer, but didn't ask for any money! I thought, "Surely she'll ask later...she must be running a tab. She can tell I want more than just one." Well, as I was enjoying my cold beverage out of a REAL GLASS, the tab-running flight attendant brings me WARM nuts. WARM! I mean, this is truely the life. Here I am, flying through the air, ipod on, good book, drinking an unpaid-for beer from a real glass, and eating warm nuts from a dish. I'd also like to add that these were good nuts...like mostly cashews. Just as I thought it couldn't get any better, she brings a warm towel for me to freshen up. I'm getting really excited at this point...I had no idea what to expect next! A magician? A pony ride? This is just too good to be true! THEN, she brings dinner! I ordered the "pasta duo" complete with side salad (this was a good, actually green-leaved salad), fresh warm bread, and a chocolate cheesecake for dessert. I'm drooling as she sets it in front of me...then she asks if I'd like red or white wine! I choose red, obviously, and then sat back to enjoy my fancy-first-class-suckers-in-the-back-only-got-three-small-pretzels-dinner. Ahhhh, this is the life...I was completely full and satisfied after...and the saint of a flight attendent even asked if I wanted a refill on my wine! Who knew!? Oh, it gets better...the booze in first class is free. God Bless the social class system.

4 comments:

Emily said...

Amy! I love this story & can totally envision every minute of it. You were born for 1st class CLEARLY!!! :)

bre said...

wow

Janell said...

hey biatch... if you are in the mood for relocation why in the world are you not coming to colorado? we could be bffs. I really believe it :)
hope your days have been great this sumemr messer!

janell said...

also i appearantly can't spell summer.